The Automatik

I broke my promise not to watch the Oscars this year, but only because I wanted to see Benicio del Toro. It was actually a lot less cheesy than I thought, although I’m still groaning over the fact that Gladiator won anything except Best Special Effects. Steve Martin’s one-liners were refreshingly funny and I hope he’s back next year, because Billy Crystal’s cornball song and dance numbers have grown pretty tiresome. I was cracking up when he quipped, “I hope my plastic surgery will heal in time for the Oscars” and the camera cut to Michael Douglas. If only it had cut to Winona Ryder when he jokingly lamented how hard it is to keep a relationship going in Hollywood because you “sleep with so many other people.”

There were many moments which were unintentionally funny, those surreal bits that any good awards show will provide. Bjork’s crazy swan dress, Dino de Laurentiis’ very broken English, Jennifer Lopez and her nipples, Bob Dylan via satellite TV…now, I’ve never been a Dylan fan, but did we need to be subjected to the kind of close-ups that show off someone’s dental work? And is it me, or is Dylan just Vincent Price playing Salvador Dali?

The thing about the Oscars that always infuriates me is that, in the end, it’s a big popularity contest where youth, beauty, or even pity often determine who takes home the gold statuettes. Clearly, the most impressive work of Julia Roberts’ career was displayed in Erin Brockovich, but she was nowhere near as good as Ellen Burstyn in Requiem for a Dream. Requiem is one of the most unsettling and powerful films I’ve ever seen, and Ellen Burstyn was phenomenal in it. It was difficult to watch the brief clip of her performance during the nominations as it brought back all the emotional claustrophobia I experienced in the theater. I spent the last twenty minutes of the film with my eyes squeezed shut and trying desperately not to have a panic attack. And while I’m on the subject, why were there only two nominees for Best Sound Editing and why was Requiem not on that list? The incredible sonic assault of the film was almost as disturbing as the visuals.

It was insulting but expected that Russell Crowe would win Best Actor for Gladiator. Being the first Spanish actor to be nominated for a Best Actor award is something no one can take away from Javier Bardem, but he earned the Oscar way more than Crowe did for a boring performance in a completely average film. Why didn’t Crowe win for L.A. Confidential or The Insider, two performances that were impressive? Did everyone feel sorry for him because he’s being stalked by kidnappers or did they just fear that he would kick the crap out of them if he lost? Although I’m pleased that Steven Soderbergh won Best Director for Traffic, it did not make up for the fact that Gladiator won Best Picture. I suppose that Ridley Scott is just this year’s James Cameron.