The Automatik

Murderecords, 1999

I’m sure the die-hard Sloan fans would call me a late bloomer for so recently seeing their videos, but give me a break! MTV sucks and I don’t get a lot of MuchMusic exposure.

I ordered this tape and my patience with the postal service was rewarded yesterday when I approached my front door and saw it peeking out of my mail box. I swear it winked at me.

I will spare you the embarrassing details of my barely-contained excitement; suffice it to say there was squealing.

So did it live up to my expectations? Was it everything I’d hoped for, and more? Here are some preliminary thoughts�

1. It was wise of the band to arrange the videos in chronological order and then throw in the original version of “Underwhelmed” at the end for some hilarious contrast. Early Sloan looks like a bunch of awkward, goofy teenagers: slouching postures, ripped jeans, dirty sneakers, and “cool” baggy t-shirts. Later Sloan looks like a RAWK BAND: suits, ties, Nehru jackets, weird hats, and nice shoes. And kicking out the jams!

2. The odd disjoint between my mental images of the songs and the videos gave them a vaguely surreal air. I always picture Sloan rocking out in the same way Redd Kross did in their “Jimmy’s Fantasy” video: lots of flashing purple, red, and gold lights and some serious posturing. Maybe that isn’t the look Sloan is going for, but I think it could be a good look for them. Not that I dislike their videos, they are just new to me and I haven’t quite grokked them all yet.

3. Poor, poor Patrick Pentland. Why oh why does the best-looking member of Sloan (Geez, sorry, Chris Murphy!) seem to always have the most unfortunate hairstyles? He definitely has one of the most luminous smiles I’ve ever seen.

4. Jay Ferguson, on the other hand, has the greatest haircut. You have to love a cute boy with a shag. And for those boring folks out there, I’m sure you can borrow some personality from Jay. He’s got plenty to spare.

5. Tall, dark, and handsome. Yep, that’s Andrew Scott for you. You can add “mysterious” to that list while you are at it. There’s something behind those brooding eyes, but I don’t know quite what it is yet.

6. And then there’s Casual Rockstar Murphy. He’s the Wilhelmina of the band, the Jack Russell terrier who seems incapable of not jumping, mugging, wiggling his ass and seeming to shout, “Hey! Look at me! Pay attention to me!” We all know that you’re foxy, Chris, and we all know that you know it, too. But it is okay to let some of the others have the spotlight for a while. Really, it is.

4.13.01 UPDATE:
I suppose since I’ve seen this three times now, I’m wondering how Sloan keeps the girls (and boys at bay). Why is this band not more popular?

Underwhelmed
My friend says this is “so 90s” and she’s right. I don’t think I could pinpoint exactly why, although the assorted sock caps, flannels and holey wool sweaters might have something to do with it. Cute video with lots of good-natured horseplay and the now-famous Chris-biting-Patrick’s-cheek scene.

500 Up
This is part two of the good-natured horseplay theme. I have to laugh out loud at the scenes with the Barbie car. Patrick is just too cute here for his own good (hey, he seems to be holding Chris’s attention!). Although everyone except Jay gets a singing part in this song, it was a good choice to turn this into a video, as you can see Sloan’s very distinct personalities on display.

Coax Me
I love the Beatle-y/Ed Sullivan show style of this, especially the bows in unison at the end. And the color tinting is groovy! More individuality coming through: Jay’s dancing, Chris’s glasses sliding off his nose, Andrew’s laconic drumming…and why isn’t Patrick smiling?

People of the Sky
The first time I saw this, I wasn’t that impressed, but now, I like this video a lot. It’s kind of what I picture “A Sloan Party!” to look like. Andrew acting peculiar makes me chuckle, as does Jay smirking at Andrew’s butt. Patrick looks lost in a world of his own, while Chris hams it up as usual.

The Good in Everyone
I particularly enjoy the “acting” in the beginning of this. The outfits and props almost stand out more than the band members! (Oh, NOW I get it�it’s supposed to be Easy Rider. Oh, dur.) The ludicrousness of Patrick’s Ian Astbury hat is genius, especially since he plays it so straight. Jay’s got it going ON with those rock star moves, I tell ya. He wears those tinted aviator shades with more style than Jarvis Cocker.

Andrew’s fake moustache is disturbing, funny, and handsome, even. Chris’s girly little neckerchief looks ridiculous, but I think his leather pants gave him the guts to be even more obnoxious than normal. His christening the mike with his spit is as cheeky as anything I’ve seen in a video in years.

Everything You’ve Done Wrong
I hate to break a winning streak, but this is my least favorite video and the title is pretty apt. The band looks miserable and I don’t know if that was intended or not. Even the ending strains of “Junior Panthers” at the beginning don’t help. Sorry, boys.

The Lines You Amend
This, on the other hand, is a stellar choice for a video, featuring crisply shot black and white “live” footage. This is one of my favorites from One Chord to Another with its Lou Reed-like feel and terrific lyrics. It makes me happy to see Jay taking center stage and everyone seems upbeat. Patrick’s smiling! Yay!

Money City Maniacs
This is a righteous video, dude. Rock moves edited in perfect sync with the rhythm of the song. Cool, monochromatic animation. Jay being Jay. Andrew about to fall off his drumstool. I’m a little confused by Patrick’s referee shirt, but I’m not complaining; he’s still a babe. Chris, on the other hand, looks incredibly skanky. Could it be the greasy hair that looks like it hasn’t been washed in say, I don’t know, a week? Maybe it’s the dreadful Farrah flips flailing out of the sides of his head…he looks like he’d be more at home in a pair of grimy overalls, offering Ferris Wheel rides to kids at the local fair. White trash/white heat!

She Says What She Means
I like to think of this video as Sloan’s The Wall. (“Sloan, you can lead them into a fruitful conformity!”) Of course, Chris has to have a red Nehru jacket, pants AND shirt. Of course, he has to descend into the crowd for some serious adulation. Of course, he has to pose�give the guy a guitar, please, before he does any more damage to the young girls. I have to say, though, I love it all. Great Zeppelin-esqe airplane antics ensue, featuring cocktails and autographed breasts.

Underwhelmed (Original)
Oh, how young and silly Sloan is here! If Patrick’s guitar were slung any lower, he’d trip over it. Andrew looks practically wet-behind-the-ears, Jay jumps around a lot, and Chris can’t even look at the camera! Tee hee hee.

People of the Sky (Alternate)
Here we have part two of Sloan’s “appearance” on the Ed Sullivan show, only now Andrew gets to sing. He stares at the camera so intently it’s disconcerting. Very mysterious and very cool.

If you’ve seen this videotape, then surely you know what I’m talking about here. If not, what the hell are you waiting for, people?!

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