The Automatik

The sequel to Eleven Videos That Shaped My Life. Expect additional instalments if Tarney Spencer’s “No Time To Lose” or The Tubes’ “Primetime” ever show up on YouTube.

1. Pat Benatar: I’m Gonna Follow You/Precious Time (1981)
   Pat Benatar’s makeup and outfits were basically identical to those of my mom’s dancer friends did during the same time period so I thought she was a queen. “I’m Gonna Follow You” is like some sort of Linda Blair evil twin movie in video format. “Precious Time” is essentially the definition of what early MTV felt like: sexy, weird, and addictive. The stylized editing and the scenes in the fake desert with the hourglass timers are completely non sequitur and why the hell is Neil Geraldo dressed like a sheik? The brief shot of Pat leaning against the wall with a tear-streaked face haunted me. This is also a prime example of a song that I knew was adult without exactly knowing why.

2. Red Rider: Lunatic Fringe (1981)
   MTV played this to death. The video’s not that creepy, but the song is undeniably so, with a killer guitar riff and solo. Clearly Bryan Adams was taking musical notes on his first real six-string somewhere. I never knew who Tom Cochrane was until much later. How did “Life is a Highway” come from the same person? I was convinced that the guy who wears blush and looks like Billy Squier was gay. Not that I was bothered or anything, I just assumed it and moved on from there.
3. Chilliwack: My Girl (Gone, Gone) (1981)
   A few years ago I saw this video again for the first time since the ’80s and I did shed a few tears, I’m not ashamed to admit. What I like to call the “Vaseline-on-the-lens look” is in full swing and it seems to have been shot on a soundstage, so it has the feeling of permanent nighttime. It wasn’t until I saw it again that I realized the reason why I was so affected by this song and video back then. Living in a kid’s world, I was fairly oblivious to what should have been obvious. When the singer lamented about the loss of his girlfriend and I saw her materialize and fade away throughout the video, I thought she had completely vanished for some sinister reason, not that she had just broken up with him. So the song was transformed into this ominous tale of a man going crazy because his girlfriend no longer existed, except in his mind. By the way, I worship this song.
4. Kim Carnes – Draw of the Cards (1981)
   “Bette Davis Eyes” was Carnes’ better-known hit, but I’ll never forget this song, which my mom and her dance troupe used for their Halloween revue in the early ’80s. This video, one of the Vaseline-on-the-lens variety, scared me senseless and I was convinced Kim was a Satanist. Or at least a serious drug user. I could not deal with all the creepy plastic masks. And that thing at the end…and the laughing! AAHHHHH! Why? WHY?
5. Icehouse: We Can Get Together (1981)
   I watched the TV rapturously every time this video aired; it was like my own little secret. In retrospect, the ultra-hip animation in this video must have influenced the director of A-ha’s “Take On Me” video, which came out a few years later. Icehouse had another video on moderate MTV rotation around the same time called, interestingly, “Icehouse.” It used to disturb me, so I don’t think I ever realized it was the same band until a few years later. If you don’t find yourself humming this song later today then I don’t know what to say.
6. The Producers: What’s He Got (1981)
   Oh, early ’80s power pop, how I love thee! I used to get excited when MTV would air this long version of the video with the goofy animation in the beginning instead of the regular version. The lyrics are such a sign of the times: an impoverished but sincere guy competing with a fat cat for the attentions of some girl. Rick Springfield explored this topic further with “Don’t Talk to Strangers” which was a favorite of mine back then. I remember thinking the bald dude in The Producers was peculiar: now I have to laugh at his cheesy keyboard guitar.

7. Missing Persons: Destination Unknown (1982)
   There’s simply no good reason to like a band fronted by an ex-Playboy model who couldn’t sing very well, but hey, I was young and impressionable back then. The style of this video shows how much Missing Persons wanted to be Duran Duran with Dale Bozzio starring as Nick Rhodes and Warren Cucurrullo in a supporting role as himself. Dale’s crazy hairstyles and fishbowl bra were a popular topic of discussion at recess. The bit of silver on her cheek inspired the infamous and humiliating story of my friend who affixed a piece of broken mirror to her face with eyelash glue and was later castigated by preppy boys at the mall.
8. Charlie Sexton: Beats So Lonely (1985)
   I’m not going to front; when I was fourteen years old I wanted Charlie Sexton to be my boyfriend. Barring that, I would have settled for his clone. In retrospect, Keith Forsey seems an unwise choice to helm the career of a teenaged guitar prodigy from Texas; did he want to create Billy Idol II? This song holds up well for ’80s pop and Sexton clearly had looks and charisma to spare. When watching this video I would swoon, sighing, “Knees! Knees!” during the shots of gangly Charlie leaning against the alleyway wall.
9. The Pretenders: Tattooed Love Boys (1980)
   Lester Bangs hated The Pretenders, but whatever. I loved this song immensely back then and it remains one of my all time favourite tunes, of any decade. I knew what Chrissie Hynde was singing about although I was too Catholic to admit it. After the first two albums, I felt the Pretenders lost a lot of their edge: two members would eventually succumb to heroin. Hynde, however, would go on to break Ray Davies’ heart and champion animal rights, all the while sporting her trademark long bangs and black eyeliner.
10. David Bowie: Look Back in Anger (1979)
    Having seen this about a million times during the ;80s, I don’t even have to watch it again to wax rhapsodic on why I love it so much but I watched it anyway before writing this. It’s mysterious and supernatural and surely one of the greatest videos ever made. The close ups of Bowie with the makeup as he’s “becoming” the painting must have been inspired by Wilde’s Dorian Gray and Bowie’s attempts to kick his cocaine habit, but I didn’t know about all that back then, I just thought it was compelling beyond belief. Now I think it inspired The Fixx’s video for “Saved By Zero.”
11. The Cramps: Tear It Up (from Urgh! A Music War) (1980)
    This is the most punk rock thing ever committed to film. My friend and I would watch this every day after school, right around the same time we obsessed over Bauhaus’ “Telegram Sam” video. Lux is completely and totally unhinged: mysterious scratches on his chest, smeared eyeliner, dishevelled hair, and pants that didn’t fall off by some small miracle. Three words: fellating the microphone. And at the end when he’s just screaming with no mic like he doesn’t even realize where he is. This video is why I wore homemade “Lux for President” badges when I was fourteen. Poison Ivy looks bored and surly and kicks out the jams. Miles Copeland, please quit being a pain and release Urgh! A Music War on DVD before I have to kick your ass.