The Automatik

Would you still like The Beatles as much if they had been called, say, Lubricated Goat?* Probably not. One could argue that a name is almost as important to a band’s appeal as having a hot shot lead guitarist (that is, if you’re into that sort of thing). Here are ten of my personal favorite band names and why.

10. Tyrannosaurus Rex: The most appropriate name for a band who sang about white swans and druids and used bongos as an integral part of their musical repertoire.

9. Teenage Jesus and the Jerks: One of the greatest, if not THE greatest, ___ and the ___ band names. Jesus died for somebody’s sins, but not Lydia Lunch’s.

8. Metallica: This is more than just a band name because it actually looks like they sound. And it begs for a kick ass logo.

7. The Damned: There have been lots of good punk names, but nothing says nihilism like being forever imprisoned in the pits of Hell.

6. My Bloody Valentine: A fabulous, visceral contrast of two of the most prominent human interests-love and death.

5. Sonic Youth: They may be middle-aged now, but the name is still a wonderful synthesis of music and rebellion.

4. Teenage Fanclub: Their name has been described as fitting the band “like the stars fit the sky,” and I agree. Adolescent swooning never sounded so good.

3. The Psychedelic Furs: The most ridiculous hippie bullshit name that never came out of the 60s from a band who didn’t even wear paisley or play sitars during the 80s.

2. Butthole Surfers: Lurid and goofy, but only offensive to old fogies, it captures succinctly their drug-fueled, outrageously brilliant, anti-rock stance.

1. The The: There was a band called Dada who had a hit single, but they sucked. This name is the real thing: almost obnoxiously simple, absurd, and undeniably clever.

*Not one of the original choices for The Beatles’ name, although Lubricated Goat is an actual band.