The Automatik

Let’s talk about a little-discussed genre of music, the “I’m on tour now but I’ll be home soon” genre, or what I like to call “Tour Trauma.” (If it is discussed somewhere, please point me in that direction.) You know the kind of song I’m talking about. Kiss’s “Beth” is sort of like that, although it’s more about band practice and not touring, but you get the idea. A good example, and a maudlin one, is Journey’s “Faithfully,” where Steve Perry sadly laments that “the road ain’t no place to start a family.” Bon Jovi’s paean to manifest rock destiny, “Wanted: Dead or Alive,” really stretched the boundaries and elevated the rock star to the same level as Billy the Kid.

Tour Trauma tunes almost always feature the words “home” and “tonight,” and there are a lot of gerunds ending with apostrophes, like missin’ or lovin’ or drivin’. In nearly every video for a Tour Trauma song, there is a shot of someone handing the band members towels as they walk offstage or slo-mo shots of them tossing sweaty hair or looking wistfully out of an airplane or bus window. Metal and hard rock bands seem to specialize in this genre, perhaps because those who rock hard, love hard. Think of “Home Sweet Home” by Motley Crue. Personally, I found it hard to sympathize with Vince Neil after he was arrested for vehicular manslaughter, but at least they were contributing to the Tour Trauma oeuvre.

Sometimes songs just SOUND that way, even if lyrically, they have nothing to do with Tour Trauma per se. For example, “On Some Faraway Beach” from Eno’s Here Come the Warm Jets album conjures up images of the aforementioned wistful looks, the towel scenes and even some weird amalgam of any Queen song, and John Lennon’s “Imagine,” where Eno could be sitting at a white baby Grand and just emoting away. Oh, so that’s just me then.

Sometimes songs aren’t necessarily about Tour Trauma, but you can tell they were inspired by the perils of rock star life. Case in point: “Thank You” by Led Zeppelin, which is one of the most bullshit, I-wrote-you-this-to-make-up-for-the-fact-that-I-screw-groupies songs of all time, followed closely by “Sweet Child O’ Mine” by Guns ‘n Roses. I actually like “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” but really now, we all know the truth, boys. No need to sugar coat it.

I’ve recently been introduced to what is perhaps the crown jewel of the genre, Aerosmith’s “Home Tonight” (from Rocks). First off, it features both “home” and “tonight,” and that’s just in the title! It’s got ragged, heartfelt singing from Steven Tyler, great piano (piano is key to most Tour Trauma tunes because it is visceral, musical evidence of their sensitive sides), and simple, but touching lyrics. Maybe it’s because I watched their Behind the Music special recently and I know more about the history of the band and the members’ personal lives, but it doesn’t sound sappy or insincere. And the background harmonies are great. And Motley Crue totally ripped them off with “Home Sweet Home.”

If there are any songs in this genre that you think I’ve wrongfully omitted, please let me know. Extra “cool points” will go to those who can identify songs from a band that isn’t metal or hard rock such as a rap artist (I think a rap Tour Trauma song would rule) or a song by a band who would seemingly never write such tunes (like Motorhead). Negative credit will be given to any songs that smack of “whiny rock star.” Perhaps I’ll create a Top Ten list. And then maybe I’ll tackle essays on other genres such as the “working class love story” aka “Livin’ on a Prayer” or its cousin, the “80s movie theme/I’m gonna make it to the top” genre.