The Automatik

“You’re in there, you’re part of that scene.”
There is no one word available for the role that Redd Kross has played in my life, or the way I feel about their music. “Fanatic” is the first word that comes to mind, but in my opinion, its meaning is inaccurate. Webster’s Dictionary says “fanatic” means “marked by excessive enthusiasm and often intense, uncritical devotion.” Perhaps my enthusiasm towards their music, and particularly the band members, may be considered excessive, but it has never been uncritical. Believe it or not, there are a few songs of theirs I simply don’t like.

Maybe I am, as some have charged, “obsessive.” But what is obsessive? An obsession is defined as “a persistent, disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling.” What is unreasonable about thinking that a band is the best one you have ever heard and being subsequently inspired by that feeling? “Obsessive” is also broadly defined as “compelling motivation.” While not completely on the mark, this is, more than any other, the definition that fits the history of my love of Redd Kross.

What was I motivated to do? I was motivated to take control of my life and move back to New Orleans, I was motivated to see Redd Kross play four shows in a row, to follow their tour through Texas because somehow I knew I might never get the chance to see them play more than once if I didn’t. I also was motivated to become exuberant about new music again, to seek out the sounds of a plethora of bands that I had never heard of before but still love to this day. What I found made me want to tell everyone about how much I loved these bands. It made me want to be a real writer, not just someone who scribbles crappy poetry in a diary. My friend and I started a fanzine (Smack Dab, RIP) which people actually read and liked, including many of the bands in it. Some of them were so flattered that they wanted to meet me, thank me, or just hang out and be pals. Yet it wasn’t just the bands that I met and befriended, it was all the people who wanted a ride on the Redd Kross fanwagon. Some of the coolest and nicest people I’ve ever met I met through doing the fanzine. My life is richer for having been a part of theirs and having them become a part of mine.

The true legacy of my love of the band, however, is that I finally found my niche in the world, albeit a small, often misunderstood one. Yet it is a niche that has given me the inspiration and the conviction to be my own weird self without having to apologize for it, which is perhaps the most exhilarating and wonderfully un-defineable feeling in the whole world.