The Automatik

Why can’t all movies be as clever and engrossing as Memento? Granted, to create something this perfectly organized and still make it riveting is no easy task, but movies this good make you feel guilty for liking pabulum at all.
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I broke my promise not to watch the Oscars this year, but only because I wanted to see Benicio del Toro. It was actually a lot less cheesy than I thought, although I’m still groaning over the fact that Gladiator won anything except Best Special Effects. Steve Martin’s one-liners were refreshingly funny and I hope he’s back next year, because Billy Crystal’s cornball song and dance numbers have grown pretty tiresome. I was cracking up when he quipped, “I hope my plastic surgery will heal in time for the Oscars” and the camera cut to Michael Douglas. If only it had cut to Winona Ryder when he jokingly lamented how hard it is to keep a relationship going in Hollywood because you “sleep with so many other people.”
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I have said many times lately that the music industry has gone so far in its crassness and sheer vulgarity, that the only logical next step is for bands to start killing each other and/or audience members on stage. The creators of 15 Minutes seem to have reached a similar conclusion. However, I found the movie somewhat disappointing and I wish that it had focused less on instant celebrity and more on the masses who devour the most grotesque side of humanity as entertainment. For all of its preaching on the pitfalls of fame, the big-name cast of 15 Minutes (Robert DeNiro, Charlize Theron, Kelsey Grammer) was distracting. It actually weakened the message of the movie, one which seemed to shout that the famous always get their come-uppance.
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Jude Law is one of the most gorgeous creatures ever to smolder across the big screen. Yeah, but can he act? Law’s career has been dominated by roles as the handsome, cocksure bastard with the devastating grin. But as Vassili Zietsev, the sniper hero of the Red Army, Law doesn’t have much to smile about. His kill record is impressive and thousands worship him, but the Nazis have already destroyed Stalingrad and it is not a pretty sight.
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I can’t think of one Steven Soderbergh film that I haven’t enjoyed and admired, and that includes Erin Brokovich and Out of Sight. His narrative methods have always been original, but this time around he has eschewed the flashback/flashforward style he sometimes uses in favor of multiple parallel storylines. Although other directors have tried this, not all have succeeded, often because the effect is confusing, pretentious, and annoying.
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“Just sit back and let the vampire do all the work.”
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With Danny Boyle’s last effort, The Beach, turning into a gorgeous disappointment (he should have definitely stuck with Ewan McGregor), Guy Ritchie is the UK’s heir to the throne of hip cinema.
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Am I getting lackadaisical in my old age or are stupid movies somehow funnier? I remember the last “stupid movie” I went to see, Biodome, was actually quite horrible and embarrassing, although those feelings could have partly been a result of the immense amount of candy I consumed in the theater.
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I’d sacrifice it all for just one kiss.
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I’d like to thank the Academy.
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