The Automatik

Corey Hart’s “Sunglasses at Night” was a huge hit when I was a teenager, peaking at number seven on Billboard’s Top Ten chart in 1984.

The song is utter crap. Inexplicably, I adore it and have for over twenty years.

It’s got a spooky keyboard groove and dark guitar noodling, both elements that are completely typical of the time period. The lyrics are ridiculous: I wear my sunglasses at night/So I can, so I can/Watch you weave then breathe your story lines. Yeah, I have no idea what that means, either.

The video is equally wretched and baffling. Let’s watch, shall we?
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Everyone knows about Beverly Hills Cop, Top Gun, and Ghostbusters. But what of all the other great movies released during that decade? Here are eight movies that I consider mandatory viewing. (Besides, I never liked Top Gun anyway.)
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Any discussion of 80s music will undoubtedly include names like Madonna, Duran Duran, Michael Jackson, Prince, U2, Public Enemy, and Guns ‘n’ Roses, as well as one hit wonders and less mainstream bands; the decade was, after all, the genesis of “alternative music.” One band not frequently mentioned, however, is the Cocteau Twins, probably because they don’t sound stereotypically 80s. Although the 80s were the decade of the music video and the Cocteau Twins did make them, they were never a true “video band.” Nor were videos even necessary to appreciate their music; it is impossible not to be inundated with fantastical mental images when listening to them. The incredible album art, designed by 23 Envelope, certainly helped in that capacity. Read more

I remember seeing the world premiere of Bowie and Jagger’s cover of “Dancing in the Street” on Friday Night Videos and being utterly terrified. I was never a big Stones fan, so Mick’s goofy behavior wasn’t that shocking, but Bowie? He was one of the first rock stars I loved as a kid, right up there with John Lennon. What the hell was he doing in this monstrosity?

Stagegay: It’s what’s for breakfast.

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The sequel to Eleven Videos That Shaped My Life. Expect additional instalments if Tarney Spencer’s “No Time To Lose” or The Tubes’ “Primetime” ever show up on YouTube.

1. Pat Benatar: I’m Gonna Follow You/Precious Time (1981)
   Pat Benatar’s makeup and outfits were basically identical to those of my mom’s dancer friends did during the same time period so I thought she was a queen. “I’m Gonna Follow You” is like some sort of Linda Blair evil twin movie in video format. “Precious Time” is essentially the definition of what early MTV felt like: sexy, weird, and addictive. The stylized editing and the scenes in the fake desert with the hourglass timers are completely non sequitur and why the hell is Neil Geraldo dressed like a sheik? The brief shot of Pat leaning against the wall with a tear-streaked face haunted me. This is also a prime example of a song that I knew was adult without exactly knowing why.

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1. The Police: Don’t Stand So Close to Me (1980)
   This is one of the first videos that I can remember seeing, pre-MTV, on a show called Video Jukebox which aired during the wee hours. I was at my dad’s house one weekend, and after this came on I remember feeling a bit odd and panicky. My dad asked me what was wrong and I told him that the video made me nervous. I couldn’t even explain why! I think I understood what the song was about without truly understanding it on a conscious level. The Police look cool yet act goofy in the video; this would set the tone for many of my crushes throughout grade school and junior high.

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Lately I’ve been listening to a lot of music from the 80s and, as I am wont to do, reflecting upon my formative years in that decade. I’ve also been thinking about a current trend that has reached back in time to transform those years.

It’s about access to pop culture.

I frequently marvel at the ability that people have now for accessing pop culture in a way that I never did in the 80s and even the early 90s, before the complete takeover of Internet life.
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Part of what kept me from going completely insane (or was I already?) during junior high was creating and sharing Duran Duran fantasy stories with my girlfriends, which we called “What-Ifs.” Like Homer, we carried on the tradition of an oral history: sitting on the bleachers near the tennis courts during lunch and filling in the other members of the group with the latest chapter of our lovelorn tales. Or, we would spin our yarns in marathon phone conversations (much to the chagrin of our parents). In these fantasies we were always older, taller, beautiful, independently wealthy, and harbored a hidden secret. A secret that we would try to hide from whichever Duran we were involved with in the story (which was usually at least two members per story)…a secret that threatened to tear us apart…or bring us closer together.
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Miami Vice notwithstanding, I’ve got a serious 80s fashion fetish, one that has remained strong for twenty years. When I was a mall rat back in the day, my friend and I used to hang out at Merry-Go-Round every weekend our moms would let us. Even though it was dreadfully overpriced, it was THE place in the suburbs (The French Quarter downtown had BONGO) for cool 80s attire, and since it was close to the Wild Pair, shoes to go with your parachute pants were available right next door.
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Throughout the mid-’80s, punk’s corpse transmogrified into hardcore’s zombie nightmare as thousands watched in horror.

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